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Making sense of things...

At 19 years old, I typically thought I knew everything and had never considered the reality of human spiritual thought or feeling. I had been interested, in a broader sense, in spiritual practice but never in actually practising. Studying archaeology brought me to consider the absolute human necessity of belief in the spirit, be it in oneself or in the earth and animals around. This sense of spirit remained elusive.

After a period of extended confusion (brought on by daily use of marijuana), I “suffered” what I consider a mental breakdown. The core of my being was shaken. I experienced extreme anxiety about virtually anything my mind could latch on to. I had a thousand questions and zero answers. I had therefore to go in search of those answers. Seeking the advice of a counsellor, I began to understand my thought processes and gradually unravel my mental landscape, with its many ups and downs.

On the suggestion of an acquaintance, I bought a copy of Sakyong Mipham’s book “How to Turn the Mind into an Ally”. This book introduced to my still bewildered mind the philosophies and world (or reality) view of Tibetan Buddhism focussing on the importance of samatha meditation. I felt like I had found an answer to my problems.

The fundamental idea that there is nothing but the present, and all other things are projections of the mind, grounded me in a feeling of peace I had not experienced previously. Exploring this idea through mindfulness meditation, which I have been practising alone for a month or so and in a group for the first time tonight, has guided me closer to a personal answer and to a different world view. I am still very much on a journey, and probably always will be.