The first time I came to Samatha and heard I had to report to the teacher, I thought I’d done something wrong. I had images of a six-year old self, lifting a shaking hand to knock on the stern headmistress’s office imagining that my crime, whatever it might have been, was the worst the school had ever seen. Despite the somewhat schoolmasterly term “reporting” I didn’t realise, as I climbed the stairs to meet the teacher for the first time, that reporting could be something that would be both a support and a guide.
At the beginning of the practice, reporting was very much linked with learning the breathing technique. While my mood was racing and my legs were torturing me, my teacher was quite happy to let me sit with the first stage of the practice for several weeks. Whenever I reported, I was worried that anything I said would seem completely bonkers. I think calm acceptance and the reassurance that what I was experiencing was quite normal was exactly what my newly developing meditation skills needed.
As my concentration deepened and I got more used to sitting, my teacher helped to gently steer me in the right direction, helping me too to avoid falling into traps of comparing my practice or building up expectations. This guidance continues to this day, with many teachers offering, the opportunity to report and be given advice. So reporting is now something to look forward to, not fear; something to remind me I’m never alone and will always have a large network of support.